Words like up yourself, conceited and vain may come to mind when discussing arrogance and self love. That’s what we heard adults saying around us when we were younger, we may have heard our peers say these things and we ourselves may have said that about others.
But remember there is a difference between self love and arrogance.
I believe arrogance is often a mask worn to hide the insecurities running deep inside. Or a cloak to hide the shame or the sadness or our perceived inadequacies. Arrogance is clothing, adornment on the outside to protect or hide the inside.
Self love on the other hand is the veins, the cells, the life blood that courses through our bodies. Self love is a deep contentment and kindness towards ourselves that nourishes our very existence. That brings more joy. That brings more contentment. That heals wounds arrogance may at some point have tried to hide. Self love hides nothing. Self love has nothing to prove. Only a reverence of yourself. An honouring of the greatness that you are.
I don’t want to lose you here, because you think this is a little over the top. You actually are great. You may not believe it, or you may not fully feel it yet, but you are. I know it for sure.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Max Ehrmann (Desiderata)
Acknowledging your greatness from a place of self love.
Don’t be afraid that by loving yourself more and acknowledging your greatness that you will become arrogant. When you come from a place of arrogance it can often manifest as a struggle to prove your worthiness. In extreme cases others are put down, deflated or found unworthy.
However, when you acknowledge your greatness from a place of self love, you don’t feel the need to prove your worthiness to anyone. Once you have your own sincere approval, you don’t need others to validate your worthiness. You develop an inner contentment that fills up your cup with self love and nourishment. As it fills and overflows, you naturally inspire those around you and lift them up with your joy and happiness. It is infectious in the most beautiful of ways.
Simple self love exercise.
If you have access to a mirror or a great reflective window, please go and loudly proclaim, whisper or silently say to that friendly face looking back at you: I am open to seeing your greatness. You are worthy of my love.
If that feels too hard right now, simply take a deep breath and consciously send that extra burst of oxygen as a gift to yourself. We all have to start somewhere on this journey of self love.