Self love training and love stories
I just signed up to a 40 day self love challenge – Choosing Me before We – and the first week explores the love stories we tell ourselves. It got me thinking…
So I talk about self love regularly in my blogs. Bee Sensual is about honest, natural skincare that inspires you to take time to be kind and gentle to yourself when you lovingly apply the products to your face and body. I talk about being conscious of focusing on the good bits – the parts we like. About coming closer and closer to that place where we can love ourselves and see our own beauty regardless of what we look like. Regardless of whether or not our skin is flawless like that model on the front cover of magazines we walk past at the checkout, have on our coffee table at home, or pick up in the Dr’s waiting room.
It’s so easy to compare. I get it! Not only that, but it’s been years and years of these subtle trainings picked up from parents, family, society, media, school etc. The love stories that we absorb. What we’re meant to look like. How to be beautiful, how to be sexy, how to be lovable. All implying that we’re not those things right here and right now.
So in case you’re wondering, I still look in the mirror and see flaws. I see creases in the skin around my eyes or blemishes on my cheeks or freckles in random places. And then sometimes I wish that they weren’t there. The only difference is I am very aware of doing it now. It’s no longer an unconscious conversation of discontent. I’m aware of when it happens and then I steer the internal conversation towards the sparkle in my eyes. I tell myself I’m beautiful and worthy anyway.
Fake it till you make it right? 😉
Back to the love story training…
So I began the course this week, and it turns out it’s more challenging than I expected. It’s supposed to be I realise, but I just thought I had a fairly good grasp on the whole self love thing and that it would be relatively easy. Turns out there’s plenty of room for me to grow here! I know, we’re always evolving more into our own goodness…it’s about the journey after all. Just good to have a reminder!
One of the challenges in the first week is to look at all the love stories that we’ve picked up through our life and that we tell ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously. Stories that may not be so helpful or conducive to really receiving or giving love from/to ourselves or others. Maybe it’s that we have to look a certain way to receive love. Or that we have to be a certain way in the world, with a particular purpose, to be worthy of love. Perhaps it’s that once someone else loves you, then you will be happy. Then you will be able to love yourself?
The next step is to get down and personal with the mirror. You look yourself in the eyes and tell the stories that you’ve been telling yourself. It’s pretty intense, but good! Lastly you tell the love story you’d like to feel is possible with yourself and others by the end of the 40 days. Not a dreamy fantasy one, but one that feels really real and grounded in love. It’s interesting what comes up telling these love stories, but also holding eye contact with yourself for a few minutes!